Liebster is German, right??
So, being someone who is afraid of Germans in general (Ask most of Europe, they’ll fill you in) I most humbly and with precision automotive craftsmanship, accept this blah…
The true protagonist of this dime store novella, would be He Who Hath Nominated Me. rbdavis5 and his Jeep and his blog and his delightful distain for some things, none of which is beer or Jeeps. And we all know what you get when you spell Jeep backwards…dyslexia. Thank you rbd, I shall continue the chain letter, lest God smite a kitten or some shit.
Wait, there are fucking rules??? Aww, poop.
It’s all about 11 with the Germans and this “Liebsterschwazennüganprizen”.
I answer 11 questions that rbdavis5 devised, then I nominate 11 bloggers to infect..er…nominate. Then I come up with 11 questions for them to answer. And when we are done, I think we are Masons or Illuminati or Shriners or some such. They drive tiny cars. Giggle/snort.
Ok, here are my answers, but know that I didn’t study a lick and may have bought the key on the internets.
1. Why do you have a blog?
I was looking for a foreclosure, but got a great deal on a short-sale.
2. Why do you read my blog?
I tell everyone it’s for the articles, but really it’s the naked women and dirty jokes. Where’s my invite to the Mansion??
3. If you could be rich, but never write again would you?
Why, is Rich illiterate?? We should get Rich hooked on phonics.
4. How much beer can you fit into your bathtub? Oh! Oh!! Oh!! I know this!! Giraffe!
5. How did you know that answer about the beer and the bathtub? It’s the animal with the longest neck in the world, duh!
6. What’s the difference between an author and a writer? The exact same difference between a Douchebag and a Hipster.
7. What is your favorite thing to have on when you’re writing/blogging? Traditional 16th Century Kenji Armor and pink Chucks.
8. If you could have a 2 minute conversation with a publisher (not to sell a book) what would you say [no expletives please]? I’d ask if the Devil was nice. I bet he is. And short, I imagine he’s short, like Tom Cruise.
9. Have you raised awareness or at least a beer because of PGS ? I hoisted a Guinness to Fallout 3 and Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, so yes.
10. How often do you blog ? How often do you wish you blogged? Two questions, I shall ignore your skirting of the Liebsterschwazennüganprizen rules AND your questions.
11. How much is too much when it comes to blogging?
When you pee blood. That might be too much, maybe.
Whew! Nailed it!!
Now 11 bloggers, huh? Ok, I may be bad at counting, so I’m only nominating this many…
Sweet, it turns out that “This Many” is 11, see the Masons must be involved.
Now my questions for my 11 victims!
1. Are you going out dressed like that?
2. Who shot JR?
3. Do these jeans make my ass look fat?
4. If I were dating you, how would you dump me?
5. Did you hear that??
6. What’s in your wallet?
7. Gangnam Style, Electric Slide or The Hustle?
8. Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy or Dogma?
9. Are you afraid of Germans?
10. Do you think I was too harsh with rbdavis5 over the Two Question thing? Should I have answered the questions anyway?
11. Do you even know who I am???
So with way more keystrokes than thought, that is my acceptance, nomination, question portion of Appease a German week! Happy Liebsterschwazennüganprizen Day everyone!!!
I’m off to claim my fez and little car.
Shrinaz 4 Life!
Comically Small Penis 
Aww, dang, Tiny Mc-SomedayASwellOfConfidenceWillMakeYouChangeYourName, I did my Liebster on the uno of this month. But I very very mucho appreciate you adding me in your list of eleven. And CONGRATS to you! I will raise a glass of beer in your honor, but not German beer, bc Germans scare me. It’s still too soon. Maybe another 100 yrs, Germany. And it was Kristin who shot J.R., played by Bing Crosby’s daughter, Mary, who attended U.T. Austin, like me. So bam–four degrees of Kevin Bacon! Now I’m gonna check out your nominees…
Wow! Where’s my Thanky-Hanky? I’m actually a little vapored at your response! I’m glad you have been multi-liebstered, you write good ‘n stuff! And you answered some of my questions!!! I’m flattered, since they were rhetorical and awful at the same time! And, of course, bacon.
1. No. They arrest you around here for walking around naked in public.
2. Shoulda known The Who was involved.
3. I’m looking at your front, not your back. So I don’t know. But they sure do accentuate the…erm…size…of your dick.
4. With one of these: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41AnX3QuLCL._SX300_.jpg
5. Of course I did. The LEAST you could do is excuse yourself.
6. Really? How did What get in there?
7. I take it you got electrocuted when you tried to hold up the liquor store in the ‘hood?
8. Maybe next Tuesday.
9. Nine!
10. Only if you used a flogger while screaming in German. Otherwise, no.
11. Yes. You are my personal trainer. My abs thank you for the workout.
‘Kayso, thanks and stuff.
:: wanders off in search of batteries ::
Oh, so close! We were looking for Dr. Who…Dr. Who. But thank you so much for playing, you’ve been a swell contestant. We’ll be right back with more “Are You Smarter Than A German Shriner” after this break…
I’m not swollen… Are you?
You have to walk outside, in what you are wearing, to find out. And then squint.
Ohhhh… So you’re the pizza guy!
You don’t think this blog pays for itself, do you??
Thank you. Well, I’ve already been nominated, but since I haven’t blogged it or nominated anyone I might as well wrap these both up at the same time. Accepted.
Splendid!!
[…] crossbreed. Which is to say, I am what you get when you mix a hipster with a lobster. I’m a Liebster. (Plus, I can do the fandango. Naked. Can […]